I study best when I have someone going through the list of things for the exams.
Should have realised that long ago..

Its redundant now..
I have no one to go through module topics with me...
My natural instinct is that once msn pops up with her name, I'll start asking questions.. Maybe because its the exam period.. so I keep doing that. I'm an idiot. I'm not even close to her.. shouldn't have done that.

Seriously.. I should just shut up (be it face-to-face, on msn, facebook or sms) and learn to study myself and keep things to myself. ...
and stop spamming people's facebook wall with my daily status updates and crap.

I should just disappear. =.="

Coincidence or Heaven's will?
I created a Word Press account..(A year back or so)
I probably blogged on that site less than twice.. (duh. since blogger is my main blog site).. yet.. I had to think about revisiting the site, of all days, TODAY.. and blog something..
After which... I read the post I made a year ago.. Blogging about how troubled I was.. over a ridiculous thing.. It was dated 5 June, 2009. Joke of the day for me.
Exactly the same date as today~ Exactly a year ever since everything started to take a wrong turn.

For once.. things are very clear to me... The thing I want most now.. is freedom..

I'm tired of this never-ending cycle.. I want to leave Singapore.. stay abroad for a few years.. Be it in Indonesia, Canada, Australia.. whatever. As long as there is a distance.. Far away from this place.
But when can I ever do that? Probably not within the next 5 years. Maybe by then.. I would have 咬舌自刭 le..

Many a times.. friends say that they'll be here for me.. whenever and wherever I need them. How many a times that they are actually there? We, after all lead two separate life. We can never be always there for one another.. Even if I would one day crumble into pieces.. How many friends would be there by my side to fix me?
Uncountable questions.. Yet no answers..... *sighs*

Its Mid-Week!
Sometimes, I think I'm sooo childish~ LOL!.
Maybe because I'm the youngest in the family.. So when I'm around people, I feel so small. xD
Anyway.. I should be studying now~~ Zzz.. My eyes are glued to my laptop screen. damn... T.T

Very often, we only remember the hurtful things being said to us, the quarrels, the hatred and fail to look upon the happiness we once shared.
All of the talk of not knowing what we had till we lose it.

To date, I still don't have a clue to why you told me that, that night.
It changed everything within one night.

If you hadn't told me, I may not have a friend whom I can occasionally talk to or say hi to.
If you hadn't told me, I may not have found what she said in her post today.. hurtful in some way.

But because you did, I found a route to freedom.. and allowed time to patch that hole.
I struggled, but I guess I made it through. Though honestly, there are times I would just want to look at you.. to see how you are doing.. to see the people around you.. till when it strikes me that.. I have really no business to do so.

I actually wished I never met you on the train a few days before. It just proves to me that we don't have things to talk about. Or perhaps.. it had always been that way since the very beginning..

~.~

It seems I'm getting lazier to blog.. xD

Wad has been happening? - um.. Yesterday night.. I started doing POA at 11pm. Ended up sleeping at a few minutes before 6 am.. (: so.. I only slept for 1 hour.. xD
Miraculously.. My brain was sufficiently active while I did the POA graded quiz.. Got 18/20.. (:

Tomorrow is my group's turn to present for BLAW. Good gosh.. none of them fixed a timing tmr to do the ppt.. =.=" I guess I'll do a ppt myself just in case. Sian.

&!! I'll be Joining back the mass session of Daiko tmr!! Yipee!! :D
Japanese Lessons are getting tougher.. A lot of vocabulary to memorise.. Guess I'll reserve my Thursdays to study Jap.

There's tons of work I have to complete today.. wonder wad time I'll sleep today.. probably 12 plus 1.. ):
Its okay.. NEXT WEEK IS E-LEARNING WEEK~!! don't have to go school.. Just sit at home and stare at computer. XDD

The fragility of life..
I'm scared... really scared..

What is life?
Some people view life as hell that we have to live through before we can go to heaven.
Some views it as a test by god.. to see if we deserve heaven or hell.
It really depends on the person himself..
I'm sick, having a bad throat and occasional fever & block nose.. but I have no right to say I'm suffering because there are people whom are in a worst state than me. When people are blinded by hatred, anger, sadness... they often lose their consciousness and when they are finally able to think straight.. its too late as they have alrdy hurt/lose the person whom they loved most.
Im so random right? talking about things that don't seem to connect. but this is why I'm typing all these:
My sister's senior undergone separation with his wife earlier this year.. and now she's gone.
Even though I may not know him or even seen him in my whole life.. I can imagine the amount of regret he has right now..
People often say.. must cherish one another when we're living.. Yet how often do we really cherish the people around us? in a week, how many times would u have thrown your temper at your family members over trivial matters? How many times would you ignore them? How many times would we just sit down and realise how much our parents have aged thanks to us for making them worried..
I dunno when I'll leave this world.. But before I leave.. I do hope that one day I wun throw my temper for small tiny matters.. and act only when thinking straight..
Btw, depressed people stands a higher chance of getting cancer! So don't be depressed ppl! Stay happy, healthy and crime-free! ^^
PS: I was on mc today!! Had a day of from school! felt really GOOD! :D