Growing up - A process I'm not enjoying.

To be honest, I really dislike the life I'm having now. I don't want to stay out all day just because a perf. is round the corner. I want time to myself. A lot of time to myself. To just be at home, listening to my mum nag away about her colleagues, surfing the net. School doesn't permit a schedule that I can head home in time for lunch with my mum. The only comfort is that I'm going home immediately after school everyday.

Just because I'm in a committee, I promised to give it a try? I'm such a contradiction. I promised myself over and over again to quit asap, I even sent the e-mail out stating I am leaving, felt so proud of myself only to find myself trapped again just because my kind & sweet senior spoke to me on msn. I even cried.

& I'm now a very unhappy person. thank you. I have no one else to blame. Should have been firm on my decision. How could I have wavered. I'm an idiot. ):