sucked into the world of self pity

"When life gives you lemons... make lemonade out of it..." says one inner voice..  

"You are pathetic.. why do you live?" says the other.  

Who am I, really, to say that I have a sad life... when I have a place to call home, food to satisfy my stomach... with basic necessities all covered? On top of all that, I have a complete family... and my friends...

For the past week.. I have been drowning myself in self-pity. "Am I not good-enough?", "Why am I rejected?","I don't think I deserve to be treated this way.", "Why doesn't my family understand me?", "Why can't they just believe in me?" A bunch of "whys..." and "me.".. Self-Pity. 

Perhaps my sister was right.. I disappointed my mum... and most of all, I disappointed myself. I had so much believe in myself... but I couldn't fulfil whatever goal I had in mind. I had too much ego in me to take this humiliation. (I had always been an egoistic bastard anyway.)

& now the question... How do I move on from here? ... ... ... 分からない。